I am now wide awake. After trying to sleep, crying some (from depression and exhaustion mostly) having a hot shower and getting dressed, I called Clarke. I cried a little more at him and then we spent a good hour reminiscing about crap people and school days. Laughed a lot at things I thought I had forgotten - which is the best therapy there is.

I am now much happier. There are many things about me that I will never be able to change. I will always fall for the most inappropriate people. And for everything else, I'll burn that bridge when I come to it. I am certain that I will have lapses in order to visit the Black Dog, for which I cannot apologize, but I will try and keep them as private (or as brief) as possible.

I also don't remember anything about last night, nor do I want to. I got very depressed and it was a shame to spoil an evening. The important things are (and by important I mean fun) I got 20 points playing Just a Minute (the winning score) and I image I arm-wrestled as I have a sore elbow.