Wow, can you feel the spring?

I have just got in from the garden after spending a really good hour tidying and organising ready for spring, and it was well worth it for the feeling of well-being it gives me alone. Aside from the fact that my garden also looks really good again.

Also tidying the house in preparation for guests for dinner, roast chicken and lots of veg (yummy).

The observant among you will notice that this is 48 hours late, but there you go, I have done it now.

Its Snowing!

Snow falling in February, what a cool concept. It must be the next ice-age (or at least a fluctuation in the current one!) It is coming down fairly steadily, and has been for the last half hour or so. Now two questions must be posed, a) Is Agent Grey going to be snowed in and b) If he is, where am I going to get my dinner...

On a side note, ow! I have inflicted a paper cut while looking at cake recipes - a sign?

How bored am I!?

You have to play this game, I am stuck on the second level, seems a but random to me, but I'm hooked none-the-less!

Who wants to Throw Rocks at Boys!

Damn Blogs

I have just been a little distracted by other peoples blogs, again. Must stop being nosey and get on with work. Also I think I put the kettle on about half an hour ago. Might get around to actually making that cup of tea now...

And now its time for bed

I have done some of the work that I had planned, so that is okay. Tomorrow I am heading to the library bright and early to do some research for my formative essay, so that I can get the work on that done by the end of the week. Tomorrow eveing I should have managed to type up the work I have done on my dissertation and then I can do some reading in advance of next weeks lectures.

Wow, I'm going to be busy.

Today I must...

.. Start work on a formative essay, and write some more of my dissertation. I managed to get up to 600 words yesterday, and If I can keep that up daily, it won't be long before I have quite a lot to show for my effort. I will need to take a trip to the library later today, or early tomorrow. The latter may be more effective as that will force me out of my bed. We'll see. I also have to meet up with Hobbit to re-re-write a cheque. We'll get there eventually!

Cold and Tired

I have been up since 9, after a really odd night of rest. (I'm not even sure if sleep was involved, but that is probably my own fault.) Element X stayed over again last night, and got up to feed the cats without waking me this morning. So that either means I was exhausted, or He was very quiet. Was odd though. Might take some getting used to sharing my bed again. I have now embarked on the previously mentioned mammoth task of sorting out my clothes and tidying up in preparation for Agent Grey, Dirty Fairy and Cool Car Guy coming over for dinner. Although Agent Grey is cooking, so there is that much less effort involved.
Now I am going to curl up in front of a PC and a good book and do some of my dissertation.

Wank.

The lamp has been shattered in transit. According to the lady at the depot that is. So all I have to do is sit on my backside and wait for it to be returned to me. Oh yeah, and give the buyer his money back. Then see if I can get some sort of compenstation from Royal Mail.

Still no games happening.

Lunch and the Possibility of Computer Games.

I am currently eating my lunch and musing the afternoons activities. I still have not managed to get through to the Parcel Force Depot, not for lack of effort on my part. They must use their phone, since roughly 50% of the time it is engaged, but on the other occiasions I have tried, it rings out. Grr.
Also no response from Oklahoma, but it is probably the middle of the night there.
Swimming this evening is off, and being replaced by the gym, although I have yet to find the card that I was issued with when I was inducted. Don't know if that will be a problem, as I also cannot get through to the Olympia. Grr once more.

So in light of all this, and the fact that I have read one of the essays for tomorrow, and sorted out some of my clothes (not all, as that would be mammoth) I am planning to play a little Baldurs Gate. But first I need to finish my lunch and then hang up some washing.

Busy weekend

Lunch at Dirty Fairy's was really good, and met some friends who I have not seen for a while. Then off to play a few board games and home for a relatively early night. However I do not feel in the least bit relaxed.
There is a problem with the parcel I have sold on eBay. Damage or some such, but I don't really know at the moment, I have to ring the depot directly. (At least after I got through to the correct department, parcel force where fairly forthcoming with this information) however it is engaged at the moment. Will try again in a few minutes.
Also I have a letter from Oklahoma asking me for more money and TOEFL scores and all sorts, but I thought that I had postponed my application so I am now trying to sort that out.
And I am behind on my work for my degree, and really tired for some reason today. I really just want to crawl back into my hole and sleep.

It is worth noting that I am just stressed and tired, not miserable. I had a weekend straight out of a bad girly novel and loved every minute of it. The problem is that the real world hits kind of hard and grey and damp by comparison!

Ostrich eggs.

Well, judging by the size of them you only need one, but I'll get to that.

I am now a fully inducted member of the gym, with the use of all the extra facilities that that incurs. (and an extra card). Was lots of fun, if I can make time I am going back tomorrow with my Gym buddies.

Then Dirty Fairy and I went to the farmers market, where we both spent a little too much money on luxuries. I got a wonderful athame and some soap. We both bought some delicious raspberry juice, which is somewhat amazing. Finally, we bought some ostrich burgers, and yes you guessed it, an ostrich egg. And this is what we are planning to have for tea.

Then off to beer and bad movies night at RPC, and then to Out again.

Not much to do.

Um, Yeah

I have a really nagging feeling that I have forgotten something. It might be that it is 3:30 in the afternoon and all I have done today is sleep and watch Princess Mononoke. Which is really quite good. I still have a little more tidying to do and some dishes, but other than that it has proven to be a very quiet day.

Almost too quiet.

A little bit of Dungeon Bashing

Played a little D&D this evening, yes its true, I couldn't resist it. (And it fills the nights with no Dark Sun quite appropriately.)

Tofu, the Dwarf. The female Dwarf. With a Maul and two axes, smashy smashy!! Was silly.

Now to bed, not much planned for tomorrow, Agent Grey is coming over for dinner and I may sleep and do some reading during the day. (In preparation of a horrendously busy weekend.)

yes.

I hope I have made the right choice. It seemed wonderful last night, lets hope it stays that way.

In other news. It turns out that last winge of mine was accurate, I have been steadily getting more and more ill since my post on Monday. I hope at least my sinuses have cleared, but I am left with a really sore throat and a dry chesty cough. Cough syrup to be purchased today me thinks.

Feeling a bit 'Pride and Prejudice'

Well I am. Its probably the effect of reading silly girly novels and having real 'grown-up' discussions about things with people I care about.

Grr arrgh. Confusion. Women, one particular man. Comfort factors and terror.

Well that's kind of what it is like in my head today. Not really conducive to study. At least I have decided to talk about it and try and make a decision one way or the other. Only now I have narrowed it to a yes/no toss up. And I have no idea what to do next. So to this end I am picking up Dirty Fairy from work to have a talk. Girl to girl, woman to woman and all that. Frank, and probably down right dirty. (Okay probably not that last bit). Then I owe someone a decision. Better make damn sure its the right one - for the moment.

Time to try again...

... off to bed with me, in the hope that I will sleep and not dream. Although some small good may have come of last nights theatricals.

Nightmares

I had one last night. Not the screaming and waking up in a cold sweat kind, I never have had those that I can remember. But all the same it was an awful dream. I can tell by the presence of 8-leggeds.
Started in the night this time when I was well asleep, but I woke up at 6am from it so at least the last bit must have been on the last deep sleep cycle.

I was role-playing in a random flat (that I only vaguely recognise now as my first home in essex, but smaller). The party - myself, two men and one female, basically faceless - were wandering around. My Deadlands GM was GMing. All of a sudden we went a bit D&D and had to do one of the sections from Baldurs Gate. I expressed that I would not be able to complete that section due to the presence of 8-leggeds. So I essentially left the party. Not sure how this happened but I saw the others inside the computer game and I was watching as myself. They went past the bit with 8-leggeds and I wanted to rejoin them. GM told me that I was out of the game but we decided that I would change one of my spells (I was playing a mage) that would mean that I could be there (or something it went a bit game mechanicy at that point) and it was all a bit 'hush hush' (kind of like GMs do when they really need you as a plot mechanic). So I was annoyed at being out of the game and the others - still in the tv - were aparently oblivious to my dissapearance.

This next bit must have been later as I cannot remember a link really.

I was suddenly watching from a doorway as someone I was now realising I have fallen in Love with was walking away from me. With someone else. Horrified I looked on, and started to piece together what was going on. He was leaving, for good. But why. The man he was with, was a water person, but what would they want with him. He was going to live with them. Forever. And he didn't know how I felt. Why was he leaving. There was something about destiny. No-one had told me the details but I had overheard snippets.
He was almost at a door now. Just another home on the street. But, wait no that was wrong, it wasn't. It had never been there before and it was the door that would take him away from me forever. I started screaming and crying, quite histerical, I couldn't take it. I started to run towards them. I wasn't going to make it in time. He noticed me and turned towards me. He had always been caring but he knew there was not much time. With a glance to his companion he came to me. I was still crying, did this mean he knew.
Then I was in his arms, and he was saying goodbye. Through the tears I could not say what I knew I must say. He turned from me. I found my voice and shouted to him, the words of my realisation. "I love you" But I could still only hear my tears. He turned and smiled, "I love you too, beautiful" The words he had said so often, he hadn't understood the change in mine.
Then another change in him. His expression faltered, cooled, and he turned away.

Then I woke up, feeling really sad. I am tearful now just writing it down. Dreams like this suck. I have a history of being a little bit accurate in premonitions. I texted him this morning to tell him to take care and he replied saying "I always am, stay beautiful"

Mmmmmm, Sludge.

Well that was a really great role-playing session. One plan, with a very limited chance of success and a risk of almost certain death. Very me. And there was sludge, which Agatha (my spirit warrior) didn't mind so much but I think Agent Grey's character (Joe?) is feeling the ill effects. Or it might be the fact that now his kidney is missing. Oh well.

In other news, with the excitement (?) of having Hobbit up for tea, I forgot to shut my bedroom door, to which end Louigi got out of my open bedroom window and was sitting on the outside ledge waiting for me to come home(?). So that was a little bit exciting. He is in now and none the worse for his little adventure, but he did get an extra big cuddle.

Waiting and sleeping...

Although I don't feel up to much today, I am still awating a call from Six Foot Hobbit to arrange things. It is of little consequence since I have only just re-emerged from bed. Taken more sudafed to lose the sinus headache and am about to get some lunch. Had a really odd dream this morning though when I went back to bed...
... I was feeling sick and so was in bed thinking how much I would like a cuddle (yeah I know, pathetic) and I must have at some point drifted into sleep. So then I was dreaming about being ill and lying in bed wanting a cuddle. And then Dirty Fairy and Cool Car Guy where there. And then Agent Grey was there. So here I am trying to sleep (in my dream) with all of these people just sort of sitting in my room. Fiddling with stuff and bizarrely going about thier own business. Eventually Agent Grey does in fact give me a cuddle, with the others just watching. Then he got up to have a shower (?!). I got up to go and get some breakfast (still dreaming - the cuddle had made me feel a lot better). I floated down the stairs (my usual method of movement in dreams is flying) and then suddenly Cool Car Guy was there accusing me of being anti-semetic and trying to phsyco-analyse me.
Other stuff happened and then I think I must have woken up.

Tests

I am the number 2 - I am friendly

I am a lazy eyed psyco muahahahaha.

I am Aredhel - Nobel Daughter of Fingolfin

I am not a Karon - I do not fear dead nor the Grime Reapear

-------

So there you go.

Late night

There are those that will tell you that 11pm is not at all late. Well, since I am poorly sick (I had to let Agent Grey go to the shops for me for sudafed) I feel that 11:30 is well past bed time. So with decongestants taken and some of the washing up done, it is time for me to retire. To the spare room as my ususal place of sleep is a) smelly (paint fumes) and b) freezing cold (window open to let out paint fumes).

Oh yeah, and more storage jars happened.

Eggy soldiers.

Busy day already, even though I am feeling quite under the weather. Well if I let that stop me now then my denial will have been wasted!

I have managed to meet up with Six Foot Hobbit and return all of the LRP equipment for them to use today over at the beach. Annoyed I couldn't make it, but I am not really up to running about in the cold. Went to get some messages (eccanacia and the like) and while I was there picked up a fantastic bargain - storage jars reduced to 37p and storage bins reduced to 75p!

Got home and had Eggy Soldiers in my brand new egg cups (one of my valentines pressies) and then did some more painting in my room. Now for some more medicine and then some sorting out.

Called Nanna today and Grandad told me I was getting old! What cheek. Nanna hurriedly told me he was joking (I think she thought that I would be genuinely offended!) and informed me that she has been feeding a local cat. As long as I have been alive they have been trying to rid their garden of local felines, with every gimmick under the sun, and now she is encouraging them! Well, I imagine thats what happens when you reach your twighlight years...

Urg...

...I hate lemsip.

The girl who cried wolf

I think thats what I am. Today I think I might actually be sick. Sore throat and blocked sinuses - the works. Only a lot of mornings this week I have woken up and said that and then been fine later on. Grr. Want to be not sick, but that seems a daft thing to wish for when I am only half-sick anyway!

Can I just say...

My randomly picked quote for the day from my "thousand paths to happiness" book...

'Allow all things to play their part, let the axe fall under its own weight, the blade to fall among the grain. No effort. Harmony.'

Today has been good. I took a duvet day from the world, and loved every minute of it. I now apologise to all the people that I diniged so that this would be possible. I don't hate you, don't hate me.

Did start that new blog, it is here. And before you do anything Hobbit, don't go if you're only going to say that its 'marsh gas'. I know you mean well, but really, sometimes I don't manage to get a full argument out before you have dissed it! :)

Did some cooking for tomorrow, Lamb casserole (with apricots and stuff). Tomorrow I have to attend the osteopath, and then bake cake and roast more lamb. I also may do some more philosophy - check out the other site for updates.

Lecture over, and it was not too bad. Ellie was not there so i have handouts and notes for her. Am worried so I hope I hear from her soon. This keyboard is a pile of poo. Oh well. I am considering starting a new blog for my philosophy, watch this space...

Grrr. (wow its worrying how many of my posts start like that) Anyway, I am currently sitting in the library trying to access my email - since it did not work from home and my tutor may have tried to contact me...
It is not working!! This is so annoying and I have 20mins to waste before my lecture. I could do some reading, but well, that would be, like, work and would mean that I am studying for 3hours straight, which is more than I can cope with.

Also my back is really sore and I have no energy which is frustrating. Bad day.
It will be over soon.

Hobbit did not show, he went back to bed after the Gym. Its not like I care really, I did end up just going out without him and getting some lunch, which was really lovely. Had a chat with Beth about stuff and laid to rest some worries of hers. All is good in that part of life at least. Still have a sore throat, although I have not lost my voice or anything. May pick up some strepsils or something for tonight so that I don't with all the extra talking that I will be doing.

Instead of painting I watched "In and Out" which was lots of fun. Now I am washing my gym kit in preparation for going swimming in about an hour.

Good Morning, how are you today? Well, feeling quite, quite well atually. I had a really good nights sleep last night, after having the boys up for tea, playing games and then watching "Dude, where's my car".

This morning I have planned to meet Hobbit and do some painting then Beth to have some lunch. Instead I will now meet Hobbit and then both go and get some lunch, with the possible addition of the Scientist.

However, I have a sore throat. Just that mind, no other noticable illness (except for a slightly upset tummy - P). The problem is that I will deal with this in my usual way, the sod-it-i'm-not-really-even-sick method or alternatively the I-refuse-to-be-ill-for-more-than-24hours approach. (my girly sense tells me that I may now have what Hobbit had - this is how it started with him - but if I deny it, then it won't be true)

Out was good, not too busy and loud, and much fun dancing! Got home late and had coffee with Agent Grey (yes, actually coffee) and then to bed. Slept well until 7 and fed the cats, then returned to bed until about 9:30, whence I emerged, showered, ate and went to collect Dirty Fairy to go to the consultant.

The appointment went well, he explained more about the op and is booking me in for after my exams. Also said that I would "benefit from having the surgery" which I take to mean, "yeah sure, your not vain and will probably have fewer problems with smaller boobs"

Then lunch happened with the addition of Cool Car Guy (Agent Grey's new bitch apparently). Dirty Fairy and I went shopping for valentines gifts, more about those when they have been issued.

Now I am home, thinking about tidying and organizing people for this evening. Agent Grey is cooking dinner at my house for us, Dirty Fairy and Car Guy. Then gaming, Huzzah!

I am dressed up probably more than is healthy, and off out on the pull. Honest. Am dragging the Scooby Gang and Agent Grey along for the ride. At least its a night out, and some fun, which is something I think I need.

Wish me luck!
:)

must not spend money...
must not spend money...

mmmm, dice

So bored, so very bored. I thought I might go out for lunch, since I have done some work and it would be a little treat, but everyone else is busy with jobs and weddings and studying! How dare they! Fancy having employment and money, or a boyfriend, really, I ask you.

I'm not bitter.

URG its morning. I slept relatively well last night (after assuming the kittens would sleep, and them not, and then shutting them out at about 1:30) and woke up at 8:30.
Sold a thing on ebay, and am now trying to coordinate postage, and with that and then the fee I will have made a grand total of... ... GPB 4:50!! Not so impressive, but its my first go, what can I say.

Dirty Fairy and I are planning to go out this evening, so I hope I feel up to it.

I am finally role-Playing again! Huzzah!. May even start blogs for those games, that would be fun. And time consuming. We'll see.

In other news, Mother seems functional and Father went home to look after her so that's a load off. Nanna and Grandad are doing well, and seemed cheerful enough when I called today, although Nan is worried about Mum, which is to be expected.

Long day tomorrow, of working hard.

Wow, I am so broken! Crying again today over lunch of all things, basically because Ellie came back and I missed her a lot. How sad am I. However, I have been told to "stop being so hard on myself" and this I intend to do.

So tonight I will study, and attempt to get some of my dissertation written. Also finish my room. Enjoy myself a little bit and relax the vice like grip I have around my neck. Shed the millstones as it were.

Also I had a really great lunch today, chocolatey burger! Yes, the real deal, one standard beef burger in a bun with chocolate sauce and sliced banana, with chips and salad. yum yum. :)

Fun night out, lovely food (chicken and bacon kebabs with garlic, tomato and basil) and good company. I was chauffered home and realised that the kitchen was disgusting and there was more than a little washing that needed to be done. So, regardless of my tiredness I have done all of these jobs, the dining room looks vaguely presentable again and the dishes are washed. Dad was already in bed by the time I was home, but I may see him in the am.

Now I need to organise my bedroom a little and return all of the stuff to it (from its storage in the living room) and then my house will be on its way back to normal. Although that is an abitrary thing to say really, since once a month it is in some degree of disruption while I take a mind to decorate or re-organise. At least now its a lot closer to what I had planned. One day it will be just as I want - and then I'll move!

That was a royal waste of time. Oh well. Had a surprise lunch out with So Rude! and now am returned to paint my room and work on my dissertation.

wish me luck!

This morning I am exhausted. Whatever it was that was making me too nervous/stressed to sleep must have moved to a new level of acceptance, so now it doesn't bother me so much. I got off to bed not too late last night (slept in my room, paint fumes all gone) and was sleeping soon after. Now it is the morning, and I really fancy a lie in.

However, I have to go to the physiotherapist today at 9:30. Which means there will be no going back to bed for me. A nap this afternoon may well be in order.

Tonight I am being fed! Yey! Agent Grey is cooking me tea, although I don't know what it will be yet...

My newly painted (and almost complete) room is looking good, just some finishing touches, which, as always will now take the better part of a millenia (this is the way of things).

The gym was good (all the better for my new card of funk, which gets me in as often and for as long as I like... I paid for it, but it was sooo worth it!)

So, very, tired.

I may have to bail on my tutorial today, and also everything else that makes me feel functional. Man, thats going to sting. I am so tired that my eyes hurt, but I don't belive for one second that I will actually get the rest I need. It is entirely possible that I have had the flu for a couple of days now (i have had a sore throat and am aching all over) but if I let that stop me know, I am never getting going again.

cave, Chocolate Muffin. sed ego discedere necesse est. lupus ego terret.

aut licet mihi discere facere Latine reddere

Painting was successful, although stripes takes longer than I thought, so my room is currently unfinished.

Role-Playing was great! Yey, fun again!

And today I will be...
... Painting my room. I have had inspiration and a full day working at it will do me the world of good. Then tonight I will role-play.

I have officially given myself the day off. (This means more than just not doing anything all day, I need a break so I am having one!) :)

Mmmmm, I am either tired, or still miserable. This is so s*%^$y. I really thought that I was making progress the last two days and now I just want to run off and cry. Really get it out of my system.

In other news, my mum is still really poorly, and I don't know if my Dad will be in this week or not. I have told my Mum that my consultation clashes with Dads operation, and thus there is no chance of me going home to help. (A consulation shift will not be allowed by Mother at this point.)

I really need to sort out my Masters applications.

My side is sore and swollen. Less sore, but more swollen than yesterday, I should maybe see the Doc given my track record of private internal problems.

I am now wide awake. After trying to sleep, crying some (from depression and exhaustion mostly) having a hot shower and getting dressed, I called Clarke. I cried a little more at him and then we spent a good hour reminiscing about crap people and school days. Laughed a lot at things I thought I had forgotten - which is the best therapy there is.

I am now much happier. There are many things about me that I will never be able to change. I will always fall for the most inappropriate people. And for everything else, I'll burn that bridge when I come to it. I am certain that I will have lapses in order to visit the Black Dog, for which I cannot apologize, but I will try and keep them as private (or as brief) as possible.

I also don't remember anything about last night, nor do I want to. I got very depressed and it was a shame to spoil an evening. The important things are (and by important I mean fun) I got 20 points playing Just a Minute (the winning score) and I image I arm-wrestled as I have a sore elbow.

Bed Time! I have not yet seen my bed. But towards it I now intend to go. Sorry about the drunkeness last night, aparently detox makes you a lightweight. Must remember this for next time.

But now it is time for sleep. I might be able to remember what happened last night later on (after reducing fatigue). If so I will note it here-in.