playing around with Picassa 2

This is a really beautiful image of Louise, and her wedding dress. More images will be available on www.practicalcorsets.co.uk soon. 

Weddings

It's Monday morning and I have been wondering why we get most stressed about the events that lead towards our happier future. Weddings in particular.

There really isn't all that much to a wedding, two people who love each other enough to want to be together, meet with family and friends and make the announcement. Then there's the assistants to the announcement, who all must be dressed appropriately, holding the right kinds of flowers. And the photographs, so the day can be remembered. And the meal and cake and balloons, and fireworks, and music, and wine.

Yes, now it all becomes clear.

Too much wine.

Louise's wedding was lovely, a short service with a light sprinkling of religion. The girls looked lovely in thier dresses, it was worth all the effort in the end. Now Louise and Phill have been wisked off to the other end of the country for thier honeymoon. And I can, in theory, relax.

But then there's our plans to move. Something that Adam and I both want to do, so that we can be happier in our environment. The cats will have somewhere nice to run, and we can finally be out of the city. But theres the minor renovations to the house we are leaving, and organising storage while we try to sell the house, and finding the right place to move to, and mortages, packing, whittling the tat, and having people tramp through my house to see if they want to buy it.

Aberdeen snowdrops

I took a picture while I was up at Beannachar last weekend for my baby brother's 21st birthday. Guess what... I'm so proud I thought I'd let the world see.

So thanks for being great, James. I wish you all the best of everything.

Oh yeah, and here's the photo. 

Don't you just have to love genetics?

Well here I am, wrapped up warm - eating ice-cream because it's one of the few things I can get down.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I have a second bout of throat infection for this month (I got the first one way back at the begining of December) So it's more penicillin for me (tastes like nail varnish remover :( ) Oh yes and the locum GP finally let me in on the secret - this is toncilitis!

Ho ho say I, I thought I'd escaped that particular bane of the Fidgett clan. Not so. At least my Father had the decency to apologise for it.

Christmas aftermath

It's Tuesday night, (I'm fairly confident) and I've been contemplating the joy of little mugs of melted chocolate. That and wheat hotpacks and being in my own little house.

Christmas was a joy, with a whole host of great gifts and plenty of wonderful food. Also a welcome opportunity to see my parents and brothers. However, now I'm home listening to some rambling about rocket boots and the lack thereof from some RAC advert wrapped up in a fleecy blanket. Heaven.

The Simpsons is on while I sit at my laptop working on placing some of Adam's wonderful jewellery on Ebay. (Conversation just shifted to false advertising and transformer car adverts)

I just finished reading 'Godwalker' by Greg Stolze. It comes highly recommended.

Christmas 2005 - my new first post.

It's Sunday morning and I am meant to be laying the table for our family Christmas dinner. Mother is singing 'Santa Claus is coming to town' in the kitchen having aided Father in peeling some red peppers for the soup. Instead I have had a brain wave, the kind that one simply must act upon right away before the moment passes. I'll come back to that though.

I also should be working on my portfolio for my business plan so that I can get a grant from Dundee City council for my business. Having just opened my business bank account I really should get a move on before the window is closed. I'll get back to this too.

Instead I have spent an enlightening half an hour reading all the newsletters that Mother is sent at Christmas from friends of the family from across the UK. So I thought, maybe I should do the same. Only seeing as I have this wonderful blog watsit, I'll revamp it a little and remember to update it every so often. Then I can select the hightlights for the statutory winter time update letter, and for those who like the inside, as the news is breaking, scoup this will be right here all year round. How cool is that?

So, lets call this preamble my pre-New Year, New Years resolution set up, or p-NYNYRSU for um, clarity. I will keep my far flung family updated and in the loop, noting diligently the books I have read and if I recommend them, keeping track of my business endeavours, cataloging events I attend with Adam my 'officialy together' person, trips, events, holidays and world changing activities.

And none of this is based on any kind of envy, or need to affirm my self worth. Really.

Coming soon... Practical Corsets

It is official. Soon I will have a small loan and my own business. Working from home and online at www.practicalcorsets.co.uk

And I am terrified! I have had so much positive word of mouth, but not one person has ever emailed me from my website, and I have only made clothing for friends and family. I need to increase my portfolio and get some advertising behind me.

Plan A is to borrow money from the Princes Trust in Scotland so I can tap in to their wealth of information and assistance for advertising and marketing.

Plan B is to do the above and ask friends for help to make this work, ideas advice and technical input.

Plan C is to do all of the above and register as a business on Ebay - get an ebay store and hope that boosts my profile and gives buyers a little more confidence.

These don't really sound like separate plans to me really, just stages.

One day, I can look back on all this and laugh.

One day.

Hmm, Captain Jack eh?

You scored as Captain Jack Sparrow. Roguish,quick-witted, and incredibly lucky, Jack Sparrow is a pirate who sometimes ends up being a hero, against his better judgement. Captain Jack looks out for #1, but he can be counted on (usually) to do the right thing. He has an incredibly persuasive tongue, a mind that borders on genius or insanity, and an incredible talent for getting into trouble and getting out of it. Maybe its brains, maybe its genius, or maybe its just plain luck. Or maybe a mixture of all three. Captain Jack Sparrow 79% Neo, the "One" 75% El Zorro 67% Maximus 63% Batman, the Dark Knight 54% William Wallace 50% The Terminator 46% James Bond, Agent 007 46% Lara Croft 38% The Amazing Spider-Man 33% Indiana Jones 33% Which Action Hero Would You Be? v. 2.0 created with QuizFarm.com

Yarr, boat credit

My pirate name is:

Captain Anne Cash

Even though there's no legal rank on a pirate ship, everyone recognizes you're the one in charge. You're musical, and you've got a certain style if not flair. You'll do just fine. Arr!

Get your own pirate name from fidius.org.

miserable

oh well...

annoyingly, I can't even really be bothered to blog right now either. So much for that as a distraction to give me a break. This work is due in tomorrow, I'm not getting a weekend away as planned, and I am feeling just generally a little bit useless.

But I have walked 3,432 steps already today, and its only lunch time. yey (unenthusiastically) for my new gadget.

Back to work I 'spose.

Re: book review tastic

Well, the class wasn't all bad, but I'm still struggling with writing this piece - it should eventually appear on thoughts?

One point of note, the really bad 'insert' book review was acually handed in by Holly, well done her, we had a good chat about that one.

book review tastic

I am up to the final book review that I must read for my class tomorrow, on how to write a good book review. Eight of them. buggering hell, we were meant to chose a good/bad review and hand it in for discussion. Knowing if it was good or bad. Then we all read the contributions and disscuss the good ones and bad ones.

But we don't know how to write a good book review, thats what the class is for.

And everyone was asking me how to choose. So I told them to hand in the first thing they came to (that they had an opinion about). That last clause must have been selectively missed, since I have just had to read eight buggering book reviews, all of which are mundane. (oh, except the really awful one that Rachel - the tutor - must have added in.)

That was so boring. And I have to come up with something inciteful to say about them for tomorrow morning.


In other news, Nobilis went really well on Sunday, I am given to understand that everyone had a really good time. Which is nice. I noticed that Korvar was taking notes, so with any luck I should be able to post a link to those in the near future, and find out what my players think is going on.... Which is always good for a laugh.

And there is work this evening. More calling the states to arrange meetings for the latest case study. Hopefully there will not be too much to do, it's all been such short notice that we may just have to call it quits today if I can't contact any more Alumni. And then there's the flights. Here - NY - Chicago - San Fran - somewhere in Canada / NY - Home. And when has all this to be arranged by I hear someone mutter - Thursday (yes, the day after tomorrow.)

BORED!

yes, as you might have guessed I am back and Uni and as always, between lectures I am BORED!

and I'm on campus until 6.

But then it will be Demon, the Fallen, which looks like it might be a very good game (on the basis of the last 2 sessions that we have had). Need more torment. Must be evil.

Ho hum.

Can't think of anything else that I can put to pass the time. oh yeah, I'm running Nobilis on a Sunday night starting this week. Have many thoughts about that, but just in case one of my players reads this I had best not put them here.
Might get someone to do a Blog for the game though... We'll see how that turns out - might be worth seeing if the game takes off before planning to far ahead.

Now, to read other blogs and then head to my lecture.

Pigeon Rasputin

Yes, ultimately he LIVES!
Little shit.

Bloody pigeons

There are many reasons for this post. Firstly to document a recent discussion I took part in, detailing how s"*^ they are - the vermine of the skies - and how the 3 (or so) missing people each day in Dundee can probably be attributed to them. Either in the form of their flying off with small urchin children, or wayward pigeons enlisting the assistance of their more distant, and socially shunned, relatives - the seagulls.

I was reminded of this wee chat, when the following morning, my darling boyfriend staggered down the stairs to investiate the source of some bangs and dare I mention them, crashes. I was woken some moments later by the soft vocals of previously mentioned significant other intoning "honey, this one's still alive". My cue to scrape myself out of the bed and wander down the stairs.

Upon reaching the compter desk I discover none other than a bloody pigeon. And some rather large chunks of pigeon bits. And on venturing into the kitchen for a tea-towel (in order to deal with the live one) some disturbing pools of blood - for that matter, every conceivable pigeon fluid - on my nice new laminate flooring. The bloody pigeon was in fact still alive in spite of this, but the cats where not in the least but peturbed by my attempt to remove it from the premises. A point of note that I will return to.

So pigeon, tea-towel and I migrate to the shed. (the place of deposit for things that are essentially wating to die - interestingly this has not been used in recent weeks, as afore mentioned resident man has no problems accelerating this process, thus leaving the shed a redundant middle stage) The bloody pigeon (in both senses of the word I now realise) is suitably deposited. And we wait.

At this early hour of the morning a converstation ensues between the two involved parties. (me and man, the pigeon is now out of earshot) Eric had attempted to attack, and it can be assumed had he been successful, finish off the prey. However, upon his threatening approach, he was convincingly pecked on the side, and thus retreated. I remark that any other bird would be dead already, Bloody Pigeons. The man who is the resident bird finsisher offer notes that the shed is for the best since he would have been there for ages wringing its neck, Bloody Pigeons. A cleaning up enterprise continues.

And continues, as the next morning when I get up sees me re-disenfecting the floor downstairs in the house.

The story should now be over, but, over 24 hours later, the pigeon is still not dead.

BLOODY PIGEONS.

Oh, and in other news

I will be getting my own web space soon. Yey!
And what will my oddly obtained space contain I hear you all ask, well, I might just have to let you wait and see...

Chocolate Muffin, MA

Yes, its true, I have graduated! Been doffed on the head with the Blue Bonnet of Dundee and everything (don't you just have to love the Queen Mum!)

Also, since I am blogging again it should be clear that my trip into hospital went well, I am now 1600g lighter in the chest. Hazzah!

Today, I am waiting for the postman to deliver a parcel of bits that I need to complete my latest commission. A friend of mine requested a ball gown affair for the Grad Ball this Saturday, and I am still waiting for the bones and things to arrive for the corset. Bum. Oh well, if they get here tomorrow that will still be enough time to complete the job.

Whats more annoying, is having to spend all day waiting in the house, when the only job that can be done, can't be. Its almost worth going out, since that virtually garuntees that the post will get here, and I won't be in to sign for it. Grr.

Just a note...

Quick post to remind everyone that I am going into FernBrae tomorrow morning for my operation.

Also I am going to see the new Harry Potter this eveing, which I have been looking forward to for most of the week... Just one minor inconvenience with busses, in that I had no idea which one to take, (and since discovering that I need the 4a, but I will need to see if it will pick me up from the centre of town, or the end of my road.) and soon I will be on my way.

Thanks Six Foot Hobbit for calling me today, its good to know that my friends will be thinking of me.

So now, to stave off boredom, I may as well head into town, and pick up the bus from there.

Things to do at 4am, when you are lonely

Blog, apparently. Since that is the time and, well, there is a clue in the title.

Also the screeching of a bird being played with is actually enough to wake me. (not my new flat mate, as far as I can tell, although he may have been keeping his distance out of a need to be polite.)

So bird being delt with (as much as I can, it was injured, and thus easily re-captured upon release - so there was one false start - so it had to be left outside an upper window to the front of the house, in an attempt to keep it out of my house for the rest of the morning at least.) I am now left awake, alone at 4am.

This does happen to me, honest, but I don't recall it sucking this badly. I even found myself considering working out how many minutes it would be until his return. Now thats sad. I need to get out more.

From what I can tell, this is meant to happen. Needing someone so much that it sort of hurts when they're not next to you. But I never thought it would happen to me. Possibly, I'm just getting old.

So rather than a sense of a recurring theme in my current blogging, it is worth considering this - am I sitting at my PC, at 4am, typing this because I was woken by the dying breaths of a bird and I need that out of my system, and not on my conscience.

Or am I going to end up, eventually, saying yes more than once.

Starlings revisited

Some of you may remember the incident with a small kitten and a live starling of some months ago. Here is the account of the events of that day.

Well, today, just before Agent Grey left for work, we had another gift. Only this time the deed had been committed more completely. I thought the event was over when I evicted Eric from the house, complete with prize, and got on with my brekkie (porridge as it happens).

Some little while later, I head up to the lounge to do some pilates, when I notice a kitten, this time Loui, playing with something - with some vigor - in my bedroom. The poor little demised starling.

Bribery ensuded and finally it was my turn to 'play with the kill' (I have yet to work out how I come so low in the pecking order for this, but oh well.) and so the little (big) bird was duely bagged and tagged and put out into the dustbin. With a lid I hasten to add, since my cats also like bin hooking.

And so ends the tale of my second little present.

That reminds me

I still need to get information out of Fernbrae. I was looking at an old post when I recalled that after my most recent call they have still not phoned me back. Time for some action me thinks.

exams over...

...finally. So thats the end. Never more to be an undergraduate. Oh well, it was nice while it lasted.

In other news, I will soon have a new house mate - who moves in tomorrow, and I bought myself a new digital camera. Just a little one for 14.99 but its good enough for me. Now I can take picces of my costumes and put them directly to PC, with a lot less faffing.

Now I just have to sit in my house until the crap people from parcel force bring me my flowers, that should have been here on thursday. Hopefully I will manage to get out for lunch with So Rude - and in all likelyhood a pint as we are now both done with exams.

wierd test

Your Psychological Profile
User Name
Age
Extrovert or Introvert?	A little from column A, a little from column B
Agression Level - 3%
Sexual Allure - 96%
Your a most likely to suffer from	Depression
Should you be locked up	(8) - Outlook not so good. - (8)
This QuickKwiz by DrWorm - Taken 8068 Times.

things I must remember for future reference

never tell a man incapable of descions, when offered to choices, "either" it ends badly

Lets just hope that today does not get any worse...

It was all going so well this morning too. Although I still haven't been able to get hold of MR and MRS Vickers to organise a congratulations you get married party for them. Then I planned to go into town for a few things for dinner, but my car has died. Father thinks it might be the battery, so he will have a look tonight.

So I walked into town. Got a coffee and a roll on my own, did some small amount of work and picked up some ginger for dinner. (at least that little bit can be done as planned).

Walked accross to campus to get folders for my dissertation, during which time my back decides to pack up - well who needs breathing anyway. Stopped at the shop for a chat and then headed home.

Just as I was planning to sit down and do some work I remind myself that I need to ring FernBrae (the hospital where I am having my op.) at least to inform them of my change of phone number, and find out if they have set a date for my operation yet. Knowing that I need at least one more consulation before it, and the date that I said I would be available from is now only 3 weeks away.

Only, after being transfered twice and put on hold a couple of times, it appears they don't really know who I am. Now I am left waiting by the phone with assurance that they will ring me back when they work out what is going on. Bugger this, I have paid for a damned consultation, and now they cannot find my file. Its stressful enough as it is planning to go into hospital without all this extra hassle.

So in summary, as a great man once said, Fuck.

And from sitting in front of the PC to type this by back is totally screwed. SO probably no work this afternoon then.

:(

Dr's Who

After scouring my blog for previous mention of either the Nationals, our our going there in costume and finding nothing, I now don't feel the need to inform my readers of any of that information.

However, go here to find out more.

Blogging again....

I have just put up on Thoughts? some more of my dissertation, this time sematic 'I' as seen by Kripke.

There are only 3000 words left to write, summary and conclusion. And annoyingly I need to have it completed by this weekend. Thats a week before the actual deadline. The reason for this being that Father is using the home printer and posh paper to publish it for me, and that means doing it this weekend so that it can be brought to me next week. On the plus side, once it is done I can devote all of my study time to revision for my exam, and that means 3 not 2 weeks for that, so more can be done.

Agent Grey is also taking me out after my work is finished as a well done thing, so we are going to see 'Scenes from an Execution' at the Dundee rep. Yey me!

Just think in four weeks time i will have my life back!

Mmmmm, lack of self awareness....

I amAzathoth! Known as the "Blind Idiot God", the center of all cycles known as Azathoth is the great void itself, infinite creation and inescapable oblivion made one. The Great God is without ego, as it has been embodied in a seperate consciousness as Azathoth has cast off the curse of self-awareness. Surrounded by the host of flautist servitors, piping the songs of the unknowable, Azathoth is not to be known by his aspirants. That is the purpose of another God...

Which Great Old One are you?

More essay posted

Just a note to say that the next chuck of dissertation is online, this time about Wittgenstein, although I am not sure I am entirely happy with it. Oh well, at least I have my minimun words written for today, and I may get a chance to do some more in a little while.


On a side note, Father bought me laminate flooring for my dining room today, so when my exam is over I can get that re-decorated! Huzzah!

as promised

and quickly too, the work on my dissertation, Chapter 1 and Chapter 2

too busy to blog

It has been somewhat of a busy few weeks recently. what with essays and things due in. Also now it is the end of term, and so I am bogged down in writing my dissertation, the next few sections of which will be posted very soon.

In essence I have just been too busy, everything is changed, I don't see Korvar as much as I would like (or indeed have done in the past), I miss tuesday CSI watching (and Miami heckling) I am not roleplaying enough, there are about three characters who I really miss after not seeing them for so very long... Siobhan the mentalist, she is cool, if a little tainted.... Rachel the scientist - still in a coma I believe..... Jane Doe, still never got to work out much about her yet, but I'm sure looking forward to it.....

oh well, back to work. When all this is over, I can get back to the other important things in life, like friends and good company, if they are still around that is.

Once more, I feel the need to blog...

I am really tired today, like exhausted feeling. All my musles ache, and if I stay still for too long, some of them start to cramp up.
I have been on campus for about an hour now, with books. The library was far to warm, and so I have not managed to get much reading done. Thought I might fall asleep in the middle of the Tower, and decided that might not be a bad plan. However, I did not, and 5 mins ago I went up for my lecture. Which has been postponed for an hour. So now I must fight sleep for another hour, and then try and concentrate on a lecture. On the plus side, the lecture will only be an hour long when I finally get to it.

On a side note, I went home at the weekend with Agent Grey which was lots of fun, and really quite relaxing. I also finally got the formative essay 'finished' (note the scare quotes - I actually gave up in the end and handed in a draft...).

This week I am enjoying the company of Speccy, a friend from my school days, which mostly involves trying to play computer games, which I cannot do a the best of times let alone when my mind is simultaneously exhaused, and on other things. But I am trying.

Tired

Again, I am really tired. This may have something to do with staying up until 4am to watch Wrestlemania XX on sunday. However, I did not sleep even after I went to bed that night, and so I cannot believe that is the sole cause.

I have, however decided to get up now, and endeavour to make sense of the notes that I made last night at about 3am, and try and complete some more of the formative essay.

I really need to do some work. Oh well. I have still have somewhere in the region of plenty of time. Although not for the formative essay, I only have a few days for that.

Also the yellow and black striped trousers that have arrived are cool only really small! (the ones that my friend from Yorkshire found right after i bothered to dye my own)

Today did not suck so badly as yesterday, however I have spent most of the day sleeping.

Blargh!

O hell i feel like crap today. I am so tired I'm not really sure how i got through my lecture. And this keyboard is a puddle of donkey semen too.
Also it is too cold to walk home, I feel slightly sick and my back is aching.
I handed my reference to tdjc after my class, so with any luck that will go well. Have also discovered that Sheffield may be a good option for a PHd... will continue with the current plan of creating a portfolio and then deciding in the summer what I want to do.

Now I have to choose between sitting at home on my own and feeling crappy or going out for the evening in a mood not best destined for company.

If this computer wasn't so shit I might consider doing some work on it.
I could cry, and then sit in the library for two hours until someone with a car comes to pick me up. But that would be really sad.

Will let you know how it works out.

So in essence

after having a really shit day yesterday, and not really achieving very much concrete. (I had a really stressful morning after getting a letter from my Bank talling me that yet again (!) they are changing my accounts around without my consent. So then I had to sort out a new bank account and stuff and it was just annoying) I am going to try and study in the library today to catch up on the work.

This plan may well fail horribly, but at least I will have tried.

Also I would like to note that no-one has used the comments on my other blog. Now this may seem cruel of me, but the reason I didn't waste the time and effort to do it in the first place was 'cause I new no-one would bother (or really even be able to coherently)

so there.

Am I allowed to feel smug?

I am now the proud owner of some extra-ordinarily bright yellow and dark blue striped fabric. Just the job for one Dr Who costume. Its so cool.
Yey me!

I now have Mozilla...

... and thus far it seems like a really good upgrade!

Mmm, theres nothing like the smell of Gas in the evening

Got home, and was really ready for my bead to discover that my Father had left a gas ring on ever so slightly for most of the evening. So the window was opened and the cats shut in such a way as they could not escape into the night. Dad scolded a little, and now, with any luck, it will really be time for bed.

Also I have decided to purchase black and white striped material, and dye it yellow, for the nationals costumes. I will post its success and soon as such is verifed.

even the brass monkeys are cold...

I have had my back door open all day in preparation for the cat-flap. To encourage the kittens to come in and out that way, and also to stop them jumping from the window and onto my flowers.

Also it occurs to me that recently I have made a fairly profound balls up. I have informed all intreped wanderers who venture into the shop that there was a Poker Night last night. However, either I have missed it, or it is next week. I seem to recall the 15th bandied around as a date, and am now incredibly confused. So I apologose under any of the following conditions (they may not be mutually exclusive)
a) if I failed to attend
b) if I did not fail to attend, but a number of people turned up at RPC unanounced and demanded to play.
c) to anyone who thought that they could go and then could not due to the change of date.
d) any combination of the above.

I do not apologise for the fact that the web monkey has not updated the durps site, and therefore I have no means of reference.

I blame stress (for my failings) and idiocy (for his)

flying f*%@

I need new internet brouser software. Now, in adition to the wierd tool bars and the hybrid 5.5/6 explorer nonsense that I have running, if I attempt to use the 'back' button (which is aparently an illegal operation) the whole thing shuts down.

bugger.

Mmmm, profiteroles

Went out for a really lovely dinner after a drive and a walk at Auchmithie beach and caves. And had profiteroles for pudding.

Can't believe the weekend is over so quickly, I may try and write a formative essay tomorrow so that I can get that handed in this week. More reading for my dissertation and comprehensive note taking is also a high priority.

Dirty Fairy is sorting out some secretarial part time jobs that I may be able to do this summer and next year for cash. Well worth looking into.

All set up

My new printer is now fully installed on my computer desk, and very good it is too, only it is a lot bigger than my scanner, and so my desk looks really full.

The lecture today was good, will write up my notes tomorrow on the other blog. Would have done it today, only Agent Grey met me for lunch, and well, who can turn down free food and good company. I'll catch up the work tomorrow.

now the proud owner of...

... a black and white laser jet printer. Don't you just love hand-me-downs. This particular bit of kit is one that my father just cannot get to run on his pc, so I have it, and it works like a dream on mine...
t he hee!

Confirmations

I have had such for the philosophy deadline,...
... its the 30th April, Huzzah!

I will go back to my plan of writing 1500 or so words a week, and can write a formative essay to boot. Panic slightly over (I still have to write the thing for the end of april).

Arrghh, PANIC!!

I have had a rather disturbing discussion today, the end result of which is that I am left wondering if I have 3 weeks or 8 weeks to write my dissertation. This is obviously crutial. I am waiting for a response from my tutor in order to clarify this situation.

In essence I am working as if I had three weeks, and to this end am not comming out to play until I am informed to the contrary (or three weeks is up and my dissertation is handed in)

Emergency back up plan is to simply print my thoughts? blog and hand that in, although the observant will notice that there is not 10,000 words there.

Good night everybody, good night.

I am so very tired, but have achieved a lot today, so I don't feel to bad about it. The draft came back from Boston and I returned that to the bank, went to my tutorial and wrote up the key themes from it here. Then went for lunch with Hobbit which I missed last week. Then off to the gym to do a bit of exercise and see friends. Home now, have had dinner and about to settle to a movie and then bed.

Wow, I wonder if I will be that productive tomorrow?

Is it just me...

.. Or has anyone else noticed that remove-before-use labels are made of THE MOST STICKY AND THEREFORE DIFFICULT TO REMOVE TYPE OF GLUE!?

Rant, rant &c, you all know how it goes by now.

oh yes, and Grr

Back!

Complete with trousers, and a steamer! Its a really funky electronic one, yet more gadgetry for my really tiny kitchen. I'm going to need a new house soon, just to put all of my stuff in.

Mmmm, building a summer home and filling it with stuff for me! (*Complete with water slide!)

grr, boredom

I have done some reading, but as usual do not feel that it is enough, although expect to see some notes on it tomorrow eveing, or wednesday morning - after the tutorial I have on tuesday...

Now, however, I am desperately bored, and plan to go out shopping, retail therapy is really what I need right now, new trousers and a steamer for veggies. That will do nicely.

Updates and sickness

Blargh, I feel really unwell today, like I am suffering from sea-sickness. On top of my bad period pain this is less than fun, although the two are probably related. Decided that this whole thing is as bad as I remember, and went to go and get more magic-make-the-pain-not-happen injections, so it will be over soon.

Also, as requested I have added a comments feature to my Thoughts? blog, for those who care...

Wow, can you feel the spring?

I have just got in from the garden after spending a really good hour tidying and organising ready for spring, and it was well worth it for the feeling of well-being it gives me alone. Aside from the fact that my garden also looks really good again.

Also tidying the house in preparation for guests for dinner, roast chicken and lots of veg (yummy).

The observant among you will notice that this is 48 hours late, but there you go, I have done it now.

Its Snowing!

Snow falling in February, what a cool concept. It must be the next ice-age (or at least a fluctuation in the current one!) It is coming down fairly steadily, and has been for the last half hour or so. Now two questions must be posed, a) Is Agent Grey going to be snowed in and b) If he is, where am I going to get my dinner...

On a side note, ow! I have inflicted a paper cut while looking at cake recipes - a sign?

How bored am I!?

You have to play this game, I am stuck on the second level, seems a but random to me, but I'm hooked none-the-less!

Who wants to Throw Rocks at Boys!

Damn Blogs

I have just been a little distracted by other peoples blogs, again. Must stop being nosey and get on with work. Also I think I put the kettle on about half an hour ago. Might get around to actually making that cup of tea now...

And now its time for bed

I have done some of the work that I had planned, so that is okay. Tomorrow I am heading to the library bright and early to do some research for my formative essay, so that I can get the work on that done by the end of the week. Tomorrow eveing I should have managed to type up the work I have done on my dissertation and then I can do some reading in advance of next weeks lectures.

Wow, I'm going to be busy.

Today I must...

.. Start work on a formative essay, and write some more of my dissertation. I managed to get up to 600 words yesterday, and If I can keep that up daily, it won't be long before I have quite a lot to show for my effort. I will need to take a trip to the library later today, or early tomorrow. The latter may be more effective as that will force me out of my bed. We'll see. I also have to meet up with Hobbit to re-re-write a cheque. We'll get there eventually!

Cold and Tired

I have been up since 9, after a really odd night of rest. (I'm not even sure if sleep was involved, but that is probably my own fault.) Element X stayed over again last night, and got up to feed the cats without waking me this morning. So that either means I was exhausted, or He was very quiet. Was odd though. Might take some getting used to sharing my bed again. I have now embarked on the previously mentioned mammoth task of sorting out my clothes and tidying up in preparation for Agent Grey, Dirty Fairy and Cool Car Guy coming over for dinner. Although Agent Grey is cooking, so there is that much less effort involved.
Now I am going to curl up in front of a PC and a good book and do some of my dissertation.

Wank.

The lamp has been shattered in transit. According to the lady at the depot that is. So all I have to do is sit on my backside and wait for it to be returned to me. Oh yeah, and give the buyer his money back. Then see if I can get some sort of compenstation from Royal Mail.

Still no games happening.

Lunch and the Possibility of Computer Games.

I am currently eating my lunch and musing the afternoons activities. I still have not managed to get through to the Parcel Force Depot, not for lack of effort on my part. They must use their phone, since roughly 50% of the time it is engaged, but on the other occiasions I have tried, it rings out. Grr.
Also no response from Oklahoma, but it is probably the middle of the night there.
Swimming this evening is off, and being replaced by the gym, although I have yet to find the card that I was issued with when I was inducted. Don't know if that will be a problem, as I also cannot get through to the Olympia. Grr once more.

So in light of all this, and the fact that I have read one of the essays for tomorrow, and sorted out some of my clothes (not all, as that would be mammoth) I am planning to play a little Baldurs Gate. But first I need to finish my lunch and then hang up some washing.

Busy weekend

Lunch at Dirty Fairy's was really good, and met some friends who I have not seen for a while. Then off to play a few board games and home for a relatively early night. However I do not feel in the least bit relaxed.
There is a problem with the parcel I have sold on eBay. Damage or some such, but I don't really know at the moment, I have to ring the depot directly. (At least after I got through to the correct department, parcel force where fairly forthcoming with this information) however it is engaged at the moment. Will try again in a few minutes.
Also I have a letter from Oklahoma asking me for more money and TOEFL scores and all sorts, but I thought that I had postponed my application so I am now trying to sort that out.
And I am behind on my work for my degree, and really tired for some reason today. I really just want to crawl back into my hole and sleep.

It is worth noting that I am just stressed and tired, not miserable. I had a weekend straight out of a bad girly novel and loved every minute of it. The problem is that the real world hits kind of hard and grey and damp by comparison!

Ostrich eggs.

Well, judging by the size of them you only need one, but I'll get to that.

I am now a fully inducted member of the gym, with the use of all the extra facilities that that incurs. (and an extra card). Was lots of fun, if I can make time I am going back tomorrow with my Gym buddies.

Then Dirty Fairy and I went to the farmers market, where we both spent a little too much money on luxuries. I got a wonderful athame and some soap. We both bought some delicious raspberry juice, which is somewhat amazing. Finally, we bought some ostrich burgers, and yes you guessed it, an ostrich egg. And this is what we are planning to have for tea.

Then off to beer and bad movies night at RPC, and then to Out again.

Not much to do.

Um, Yeah

I have a really nagging feeling that I have forgotten something. It might be that it is 3:30 in the afternoon and all I have done today is sleep and watch Princess Mononoke. Which is really quite good. I still have a little more tidying to do and some dishes, but other than that it has proven to be a very quiet day.

Almost too quiet.

A little bit of Dungeon Bashing

Played a little D&D this evening, yes its true, I couldn't resist it. (And it fills the nights with no Dark Sun quite appropriately.)

Tofu, the Dwarf. The female Dwarf. With a Maul and two axes, smashy smashy!! Was silly.

Now to bed, not much planned for tomorrow, Agent Grey is coming over for dinner and I may sleep and do some reading during the day. (In preparation of a horrendously busy weekend.)

yes.

I hope I have made the right choice. It seemed wonderful last night, lets hope it stays that way.

In other news. It turns out that last winge of mine was accurate, I have been steadily getting more and more ill since my post on Monday. I hope at least my sinuses have cleared, but I am left with a really sore throat and a dry chesty cough. Cough syrup to be purchased today me thinks.

Feeling a bit 'Pride and Prejudice'

Well I am. Its probably the effect of reading silly girly novels and having real 'grown-up' discussions about things with people I care about.

Grr arrgh. Confusion. Women, one particular man. Comfort factors and terror.

Well that's kind of what it is like in my head today. Not really conducive to study. At least I have decided to talk about it and try and make a decision one way or the other. Only now I have narrowed it to a yes/no toss up. And I have no idea what to do next. So to this end I am picking up Dirty Fairy from work to have a talk. Girl to girl, woman to woman and all that. Frank, and probably down right dirty. (Okay probably not that last bit). Then I owe someone a decision. Better make damn sure its the right one - for the moment.

Time to try again...

... off to bed with me, in the hope that I will sleep and not dream. Although some small good may have come of last nights theatricals.

Nightmares

I had one last night. Not the screaming and waking up in a cold sweat kind, I never have had those that I can remember. But all the same it was an awful dream. I can tell by the presence of 8-leggeds.
Started in the night this time when I was well asleep, but I woke up at 6am from it so at least the last bit must have been on the last deep sleep cycle.

I was role-playing in a random flat (that I only vaguely recognise now as my first home in essex, but smaller). The party - myself, two men and one female, basically faceless - were wandering around. My Deadlands GM was GMing. All of a sudden we went a bit D&D and had to do one of the sections from Baldurs Gate. I expressed that I would not be able to complete that section due to the presence of 8-leggeds. So I essentially left the party. Not sure how this happened but I saw the others inside the computer game and I was watching as myself. They went past the bit with 8-leggeds and I wanted to rejoin them. GM told me that I was out of the game but we decided that I would change one of my spells (I was playing a mage) that would mean that I could be there (or something it went a bit game mechanicy at that point) and it was all a bit 'hush hush' (kind of like GMs do when they really need you as a plot mechanic). So I was annoyed at being out of the game and the others - still in the tv - were aparently oblivious to my dissapearance.

This next bit must have been later as I cannot remember a link really.

I was suddenly watching from a doorway as someone I was now realising I have fallen in Love with was walking away from me. With someone else. Horrified I looked on, and started to piece together what was going on. He was leaving, for good. But why. The man he was with, was a water person, but what would they want with him. He was going to live with them. Forever. And he didn't know how I felt. Why was he leaving. There was something about destiny. No-one had told me the details but I had overheard snippets.
He was almost at a door now. Just another home on the street. But, wait no that was wrong, it wasn't. It had never been there before and it was the door that would take him away from me forever. I started screaming and crying, quite histerical, I couldn't take it. I started to run towards them. I wasn't going to make it in time. He noticed me and turned towards me. He had always been caring but he knew there was not much time. With a glance to his companion he came to me. I was still crying, did this mean he knew.
Then I was in his arms, and he was saying goodbye. Through the tears I could not say what I knew I must say. He turned from me. I found my voice and shouted to him, the words of my realisation. "I love you" But I could still only hear my tears. He turned and smiled, "I love you too, beautiful" The words he had said so often, he hadn't understood the change in mine.
Then another change in him. His expression faltered, cooled, and he turned away.

Then I woke up, feeling really sad. I am tearful now just writing it down. Dreams like this suck. I have a history of being a little bit accurate in premonitions. I texted him this morning to tell him to take care and he replied saying "I always am, stay beautiful"

Mmmmmm, Sludge.

Well that was a really great role-playing session. One plan, with a very limited chance of success and a risk of almost certain death. Very me. And there was sludge, which Agatha (my spirit warrior) didn't mind so much but I think Agent Grey's character (Joe?) is feeling the ill effects. Or it might be the fact that now his kidney is missing. Oh well.

In other news, with the excitement (?) of having Hobbit up for tea, I forgot to shut my bedroom door, to which end Louigi got out of my open bedroom window and was sitting on the outside ledge waiting for me to come home(?). So that was a little bit exciting. He is in now and none the worse for his little adventure, but he did get an extra big cuddle.

Waiting and sleeping...

Although I don't feel up to much today, I am still awating a call from Six Foot Hobbit to arrange things. It is of little consequence since I have only just re-emerged from bed. Taken more sudafed to lose the sinus headache and am about to get some lunch. Had a really odd dream this morning though when I went back to bed...
... I was feeling sick and so was in bed thinking how much I would like a cuddle (yeah I know, pathetic) and I must have at some point drifted into sleep. So then I was dreaming about being ill and lying in bed wanting a cuddle. And then Dirty Fairy and Cool Car Guy where there. And then Agent Grey was there. So here I am trying to sleep (in my dream) with all of these people just sort of sitting in my room. Fiddling with stuff and bizarrely going about thier own business. Eventually Agent Grey does in fact give me a cuddle, with the others just watching. Then he got up to have a shower (?!). I got up to go and get some breakfast (still dreaming - the cuddle had made me feel a lot better). I floated down the stairs (my usual method of movement in dreams is flying) and then suddenly Cool Car Guy was there accusing me of being anti-semetic and trying to phsyco-analyse me.
Other stuff happened and then I think I must have woken up.

Tests

I am the number 2 - I am friendly

I am a lazy eyed psyco muahahahaha.

I am Aredhel - Nobel Daughter of Fingolfin

I am not a Karon - I do not fear dead nor the Grime Reapear

-------

So there you go.

Late night

There are those that will tell you that 11pm is not at all late. Well, since I am poorly sick (I had to let Agent Grey go to the shops for me for sudafed) I feel that 11:30 is well past bed time. So with decongestants taken and some of the washing up done, it is time for me to retire. To the spare room as my ususal place of sleep is a) smelly (paint fumes) and b) freezing cold (window open to let out paint fumes).

Oh yeah, and more storage jars happened.

Eggy soldiers.

Busy day already, even though I am feeling quite under the weather. Well if I let that stop me now then my denial will have been wasted!

I have managed to meet up with Six Foot Hobbit and return all of the LRP equipment for them to use today over at the beach. Annoyed I couldn't make it, but I am not really up to running about in the cold. Went to get some messages (eccanacia and the like) and while I was there picked up a fantastic bargain - storage jars reduced to 37p and storage bins reduced to 75p!

Got home and had Eggy Soldiers in my brand new egg cups (one of my valentines pressies) and then did some more painting in my room. Now for some more medicine and then some sorting out.

Called Nanna today and Grandad told me I was getting old! What cheek. Nanna hurriedly told me he was joking (I think she thought that I would be genuinely offended!) and informed me that she has been feeding a local cat. As long as I have been alive they have been trying to rid their garden of local felines, with every gimmick under the sun, and now she is encouraging them! Well, I imagine thats what happens when you reach your twighlight years...

Urg...

...I hate lemsip.

The girl who cried wolf

I think thats what I am. Today I think I might actually be sick. Sore throat and blocked sinuses - the works. Only a lot of mornings this week I have woken up and said that and then been fine later on. Grr. Want to be not sick, but that seems a daft thing to wish for when I am only half-sick anyway!

Can I just say...

My randomly picked quote for the day from my "thousand paths to happiness" book...

'Allow all things to play their part, let the axe fall under its own weight, the blade to fall among the grain. No effort. Harmony.'

Today has been good. I took a duvet day from the world, and loved every minute of it. I now apologise to all the people that I diniged so that this would be possible. I don't hate you, don't hate me.

Did start that new blog, it is here. And before you do anything Hobbit, don't go if you're only going to say that its 'marsh gas'. I know you mean well, but really, sometimes I don't manage to get a full argument out before you have dissed it! :)

Did some cooking for tomorrow, Lamb casserole (with apricots and stuff). Tomorrow I have to attend the osteopath, and then bake cake and roast more lamb. I also may do some more philosophy - check out the other site for updates.

Lecture over, and it was not too bad. Ellie was not there so i have handouts and notes for her. Am worried so I hope I hear from her soon. This keyboard is a pile of poo. Oh well. I am considering starting a new blog for my philosophy, watch this space...

Grrr. (wow its worrying how many of my posts start like that) Anyway, I am currently sitting in the library trying to access my email - since it did not work from home and my tutor may have tried to contact me...
It is not working!! This is so annoying and I have 20mins to waste before my lecture. I could do some reading, but well, that would be, like, work and would mean that I am studying for 3hours straight, which is more than I can cope with.

Also my back is really sore and I have no energy which is frustrating. Bad day.
It will be over soon.

Hobbit did not show, he went back to bed after the Gym. Its not like I care really, I did end up just going out without him and getting some lunch, which was really lovely. Had a chat with Beth about stuff and laid to rest some worries of hers. All is good in that part of life at least. Still have a sore throat, although I have not lost my voice or anything. May pick up some strepsils or something for tonight so that I don't with all the extra talking that I will be doing.

Instead of painting I watched "In and Out" which was lots of fun. Now I am washing my gym kit in preparation for going swimming in about an hour.

Good Morning, how are you today? Well, feeling quite, quite well atually. I had a really good nights sleep last night, after having the boys up for tea, playing games and then watching "Dude, where's my car".

This morning I have planned to meet Hobbit and do some painting then Beth to have some lunch. Instead I will now meet Hobbit and then both go and get some lunch, with the possible addition of the Scientist.

However, I have a sore throat. Just that mind, no other noticable illness (except for a slightly upset tummy - P). The problem is that I will deal with this in my usual way, the sod-it-i'm-not-really-even-sick method or alternatively the I-refuse-to-be-ill-for-more-than-24hours approach. (my girly sense tells me that I may now have what Hobbit had - this is how it started with him - but if I deny it, then it won't be true)

Out was good, not too busy and loud, and much fun dancing! Got home late and had coffee with Agent Grey (yes, actually coffee) and then to bed. Slept well until 7 and fed the cats, then returned to bed until about 9:30, whence I emerged, showered, ate and went to collect Dirty Fairy to go to the consultant.

The appointment went well, he explained more about the op and is booking me in for after my exams. Also said that I would "benefit from having the surgery" which I take to mean, "yeah sure, your not vain and will probably have fewer problems with smaller boobs"

Then lunch happened with the addition of Cool Car Guy (Agent Grey's new bitch apparently). Dirty Fairy and I went shopping for valentines gifts, more about those when they have been issued.

Now I am home, thinking about tidying and organizing people for this evening. Agent Grey is cooking dinner at my house for us, Dirty Fairy and Car Guy. Then gaming, Huzzah!

I am dressed up probably more than is healthy, and off out on the pull. Honest. Am dragging the Scooby Gang and Agent Grey along for the ride. At least its a night out, and some fun, which is something I think I need.

Wish me luck!
:)

must not spend money...
must not spend money...

mmmm, dice

So bored, so very bored. I thought I might go out for lunch, since I have done some work and it would be a little treat, but everyone else is busy with jobs and weddings and studying! How dare they! Fancy having employment and money, or a boyfriend, really, I ask you.

I'm not bitter.

URG its morning. I slept relatively well last night (after assuming the kittens would sleep, and them not, and then shutting them out at about 1:30) and woke up at 8:30.
Sold a thing on ebay, and am now trying to coordinate postage, and with that and then the fee I will have made a grand total of... ... GPB 4:50!! Not so impressive, but its my first go, what can I say.

Dirty Fairy and I are planning to go out this evening, so I hope I feel up to it.

I am finally role-Playing again! Huzzah!. May even start blogs for those games, that would be fun. And time consuming. We'll see.

In other news, Mother seems functional and Father went home to look after her so that's a load off. Nanna and Grandad are doing well, and seemed cheerful enough when I called today, although Nan is worried about Mum, which is to be expected.

Long day tomorrow, of working hard.

Wow, I am so broken! Crying again today over lunch of all things, basically because Ellie came back and I missed her a lot. How sad am I. However, I have been told to "stop being so hard on myself" and this I intend to do.

So tonight I will study, and attempt to get some of my dissertation written. Also finish my room. Enjoy myself a little bit and relax the vice like grip I have around my neck. Shed the millstones as it were.

Also I had a really great lunch today, chocolatey burger! Yes, the real deal, one standard beef burger in a bun with chocolate sauce and sliced banana, with chips and salad. yum yum. :)

Fun night out, lovely food (chicken and bacon kebabs with garlic, tomato and basil) and good company. I was chauffered home and realised that the kitchen was disgusting and there was more than a little washing that needed to be done. So, regardless of my tiredness I have done all of these jobs, the dining room looks vaguely presentable again and the dishes are washed. Dad was already in bed by the time I was home, but I may see him in the am.

Now I need to organise my bedroom a little and return all of the stuff to it (from its storage in the living room) and then my house will be on its way back to normal. Although that is an abitrary thing to say really, since once a month it is in some degree of disruption while I take a mind to decorate or re-organise. At least now its a lot closer to what I had planned. One day it will be just as I want - and then I'll move!

That was a royal waste of time. Oh well. Had a surprise lunch out with So Rude! and now am returned to paint my room and work on my dissertation.

wish me luck!

This morning I am exhausted. Whatever it was that was making me too nervous/stressed to sleep must have moved to a new level of acceptance, so now it doesn't bother me so much. I got off to bed not too late last night (slept in my room, paint fumes all gone) and was sleeping soon after. Now it is the morning, and I really fancy a lie in.

However, I have to go to the physiotherapist today at 9:30. Which means there will be no going back to bed for me. A nap this afternoon may well be in order.

Tonight I am being fed! Yey! Agent Grey is cooking me tea, although I don't know what it will be yet...

My newly painted (and almost complete) room is looking good, just some finishing touches, which, as always will now take the better part of a millenia (this is the way of things).

The gym was good (all the better for my new card of funk, which gets me in as often and for as long as I like... I paid for it, but it was sooo worth it!)

So, very, tired.

I may have to bail on my tutorial today, and also everything else that makes me feel functional. Man, thats going to sting. I am so tired that my eyes hurt, but I don't belive for one second that I will actually get the rest I need. It is entirely possible that I have had the flu for a couple of days now (i have had a sore throat and am aching all over) but if I let that stop me know, I am never getting going again.

cave, Chocolate Muffin. sed ego discedere necesse est. lupus ego terret.

aut licet mihi discere facere Latine reddere

Painting was successful, although stripes takes longer than I thought, so my room is currently unfinished.

Role-Playing was great! Yey, fun again!

And today I will be...
... Painting my room. I have had inspiration and a full day working at it will do me the world of good. Then tonight I will role-play.

I have officially given myself the day off. (This means more than just not doing anything all day, I need a break so I am having one!) :)

Mmmmm, I am either tired, or still miserable. This is so s*%^$y. I really thought that I was making progress the last two days and now I just want to run off and cry. Really get it out of my system.

In other news, my mum is still really poorly, and I don't know if my Dad will be in this week or not. I have told my Mum that my consultation clashes with Dads operation, and thus there is no chance of me going home to help. (A consulation shift will not be allowed by Mother at this point.)

I really need to sort out my Masters applications.

My side is sore and swollen. Less sore, but more swollen than yesterday, I should maybe see the Doc given my track record of private internal problems.

I am now wide awake. After trying to sleep, crying some (from depression and exhaustion mostly) having a hot shower and getting dressed, I called Clarke. I cried a little more at him and then we spent a good hour reminiscing about crap people and school days. Laughed a lot at things I thought I had forgotten - which is the best therapy there is.

I am now much happier. There are many things about me that I will never be able to change. I will always fall for the most inappropriate people. And for everything else, I'll burn that bridge when I come to it. I am certain that I will have lapses in order to visit the Black Dog, for which I cannot apologize, but I will try and keep them as private (or as brief) as possible.

I also don't remember anything about last night, nor do I want to. I got very depressed and it was a shame to spoil an evening. The important things are (and by important I mean fun) I got 20 points playing Just a Minute (the winning score) and I image I arm-wrestled as I have a sore elbow.

Bed Time! I have not yet seen my bed. But towards it I now intend to go. Sorry about the drunkeness last night, aparently detox makes you a lightweight. Must remember this for next time.

But now it is time for sleep. I might be able to remember what happened last night later on (after reducing fatigue). If so I will note it here-in.